The Art of Self-Care

My son Miller was born happy and healthy however it was picked up at birth that he had a moderate hearing loss. As the months progressed, he became delayed in all aspects of his development and pretty soon his days were filled with therapy appointments, specialist visits and hospital trip. Throw in the COVID pandemic, raising his two older brothers and work/life commitments, life was pretty hectic. And when I wasn’t doing these things, I would be up late at night googling. I’d fall down the rabbit hole of all things medical, trying to find him a diagnosis. During this period, I signed up for every course, webinar and workshop that I could find on the internet.

One of the courses that I signed up to, (no doubt in my bleary eyed state late at night) was the Healthy Mothers Healthy Families Program. I wasn’t sure about it at first, I knew the program wasn’t designed to help me find the answers I was looking for to help Miller. But at that point, I was so stressed out. I felt like my entire life was consumed by our medical journey. It’s all I could think about and it’s all I talked about. I knew it wasn’t a healthy way to live.

Healthy Mothers Healthy Families was engaging from the get-go. As the chronic over-signer-upperer that I am, this was the first course that focussed on the health and wellbeing of the mother. Delivered by qualified presenters, it was easy for me to stay interested and complete the program. The number one takeaway that I took from it, was that you have to prioritise yourself. No one else can look after you but you. And all the information that was delivered was backed up by research and statistics, reinforcing the seriousness of the importance of taking care of yourself. I quickly realised that I had been living in a cat like state of alert, ready to pounce on every new piece of information I could find. But that isn’t sustainable. In devoting myself to my son’s care, I’d lost my sense of self.

Like everyone else during COVID I took up a new hobby – watercolour painting and journaling. However, after completing Healthy Mothers Healthy Families I decided to make it a regular practice. Every night after the kids went to bed, I’d paint or sketch in my journal. I found it so cathartic and relaxing. I didn’t put pressure on myself, sometimes I would paint for hours, other nights just for a few minutes. But I built it into my routine as a non-negotiable, like showering and eating.It’s been a few years now and I’ve stuck with it. I’ve improved my skills and have branched out to other mediums.

Since completing the Healthy Mothers Healthy Families Program, my mindset has shifted from living in a constant state of stress and hyper-vigilance to recognising the importance of prioritising my own health and wellbeing. I used to think it was selfish of me to spend that time on myself, but I realise I can’t pour from an empty cup and that caring for myself is as important as caring for my kids. When life gets hard, and it does, I now have the coping skills to handle what’s thrown at me – I just need some paint, water and paper, and it doesn’t hurt to have a glass of wine and a good crime podcast too.