An AuDHDer’s Personal Perspective on Screen Use

This story has been edited using plain English principles to support accessibility. If you prefer a longer version with additional detail, you’ll find a link at the end of the page.

Parents often receive conflicting advice about screen use. Some professionals recommend strict limits, while others encourage choice and autonomy. It can leave families wondering what the “right” approach is.

Rather than offering another set of rules, I want to share what screen use has meant in my life. 

As an Autistic ADHDer (AuDHDer), online platforms have given me meaningful connections, opportunities for learning, and self-regulation. They have also presented challenges.

I hope that by sharing my experience, parents feel reassured that there isn’t a single right approach. And that we can think about screen use through a more neurodiversity-affirming, neutral lens. 

Learning, connection and regulation

At the end of primary school, life became much more demanding. The transition to high school brought new subjects, homework and more complex social expectations. Things were less predictable. At the same time, I was also expected to be more independent.

Looking back, I was likely experiencing Autistic burnout. I was often exhausted by the end of the school day.  The activities I had always loved, like drawing and reading, suddenly felt more tiring. At the same time, it felt difficult to be still, and my brain was just as active! 

Playing games online allowed me to still connect to my creativity, but in a way that required a lot less effort and decision-making. Screens provided me with  predictability  and calm.

Screens also supported my learning. My visual processing is a strength compared to my auditory processing. The classroom was overwhelming, but online I could absorb information at my own pace in ways that worked for my brain. 

Screen use also became a way to make social connections. Through Minecraft, I met friends at school who shared the same interests. After school we’d continue to play and use the in-game chat to communicate. I still play online with friends as an adult.

Communicating online was much less tiring than talking face to face. Text-based conversations gave me more time to process what someone had said and think about how I wanted to respond. I also didn’t have the extra ‘noise’ of facial expressions, body language and tone of voice. If I needed more time, I could come back to the conversation later. 

There have also been challenges

While screen use has brought many positives to my life, on the flip side, there have also been challenges.

I’ve had to learn how to navigate the online world safely. As someone who is naturally quite literal and trusting, it took time to understand that not everything I read online was accurate, and that people weren’t always honest or kind. Even in Autistic spaces, I’ve experienced misunderstandings, negative interactions, and confronting conversations.

By far, the biggest challenge has been knowing when to stop or being able to step away. If I was deeply immersed in something, what felt like “just five more minutes” could easily become four hours! This was particularly hard when the activities were time-sensitive, or I was playing a win-lose game.

What has helped

What’s really helped was the way my mother  approached screen use. Rather than focusing on how much time I was spending online, she asked me questions.

She would say things like, “I’ve noticed you’ve been spending a lot more time on your iPad this week,” or, “It looks like you’re finding it really hard to disengage from your phone. I’m just wondering if there’s anything going on that I can help with?”

Those conversations helped my mum understand what was happening for me. Over time, I learnt to ask those same questions myself. I began to notice some of the signs that I was becoming frustrated or dysregulated and that it was probably time for a break.

I’ve also learnt more about how my brain processes information and how technology can help me. I’ve found apps that help with time management and transitioning between activities, like Forest (a digital visual timer) and Habitica (a game-based habit and productivity app). I use reminders on my phone throughout the day to stay on top of tasks. I love using my phone’s focus modes for different activities, like starting work or when it is time to sleep. I’ve programmed some of them to turn on automatically if I open a certain application or arrive at a particular location.

Reflecting on my experience

It’s hard to imagine my life without screens.

They’ve helped me maintain friendships in ways that work for me. Without them, I think I’d probably be quite isolated. They’ve also allowed me to continue to learn and explore my interests. I’ve been able to do courses from home at my own pace, rather than trying to fit into environments that aren’t always accessible.

Screen use has even influenced my career. Gaming started as a passion , and today I facilitate online gaming groups for Autistic young people. If you’d told me that when I was younger, I probably wouldn’t have believed you.

Advice for parents

If I had one message to share with parents, it would be to think about what purpose screen use is playing in your child’s life. How is it helping? What challenges is it creating?

The answers will be different for every child. I don’t think that there is one set of rules that will work for everyone. I think the best place to start is by getting curious about your child’s experience.

Your child may even enjoy involving you in their online world. You don’t need to be a pro-gamer or YouTuber. Simply showing interest, asking questions and listening without judgement can create opportunities for open conversations.

Creating space for these honest conversations will help you and your child navigate screen use together. Gradually, over time, those conversations could be what helps your child develop their skills and confidence to manage technology for themselves.